new words for old desires

started a tradition of ‘family’ dinners on tuesday and it got me so stoked.

but coming home - with my massive workload - the stress began to hit

the happiness of the day washed away

and i am left with the creeping tide of dread, and loneliness 

felt only in empty apartments, long after sunset

when the only sound is the internal jangle of heat in radiators

and your own steady breathing which each turned page. 

if i had no commitments, if it weren’t so cold

if i had a little bit more money in the bank,

i’d throw down this book, pack a bag, and leave this very night-

walk across the country just to get back to you

because then no night would have this loneliness

no amount of work would seem too much.

but until then - i shoulder on, and wait

until that gap between us is no longer thousands of miles

but fractions of an inch between finger tips.